Being in a relationship with a narcissist is a daily struggle. Surviving the day is of utmost priority. But if you have decided to stay in the relationship, you have to be honest about your expectations. You would need a sense of purpose to find value in life. Plus, emotional support for victims is a must for sanity.

• Related: What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Strong Emotional Support for Victims

There is something you need to know — a narcissist isn’t going to change. That’s what my psychiatrist told me about my narcissistic mother. He or she won’t turn into someone who truly gives value to you. Needless to say, you will need to look somewhere else for emotional support and purpose. 

Here are some of the things that you can do to help you stay grounded in your relationship with a narcissist.

Find out how healthy relationships should look and feel.

If you come from a narcissistic family like me, you may not have a very good sense of what a healthy relationship is. Give-and-take should be the norm and not the exception. But being a victim of emotional abuse, the narcissistic pattern of dysfunction may feel comfortable, like it’s the way life should be. You will think and feel that it’s the normal and acceptable situation.

• Related: Signs of Narcissism

You have to remind yourself that although the treatment is familiar, it also makes you feel bad. Know that in a healthy reciprocal relationship, you should feel respected and free to be yourself.

Spend time with sincere people for emotional support.

If you have lived all your life with a narcissist, you might find it difficult to identify sincere people. But there ARE sincere people, people who have a normal way of thinking. These are the kinds of people who can give you an honest reflection of who yourself. You need them to maintain the right perspective and avoid believing the narcissist’s distorted truths. Spend much time with people who know who you really are. They can also validate your thoughts and feelings. 

Seeing a psychiatrist would also be good for you. They have objective and can give you a clinical opinion.

Establish new friendships.

It is best to find friends outside of the narcissist’s circle. Most narcissists isolate the people in their lives in order to better control and manipulate them.

If you find yourself alienated from other people, you need to invest time into rebuilding lapsed friendships. Or better yet, start new friendships and relationships.

Victims should start new hobbies.

Obviously, you need to find an activity that you can do on your leisure time. It should be something that you enjoy and will let you use your mind and hands. It will also take your mind off negative thoughts. And whatever result you produce will surely bring joy to you.

Look for meaning and purpose in volunteer work. 

You need to get away from the need to find value from a narcissist. You don’t need such a person to make you feel good about yourself. Instead, pursue meaningful activities that make other people’s lives better. Make use of your talents and contribute your time and effort to society. And then find healing.

You may also want to check out how emotional support animals can help you in your journey.