Narcissism 101
Emotional Reasoning in an Argument| No Logic with a…
There is just no rhyme and reason to a narcissist. They employ emotional reasoning to just about anything. So no matter how sound your argument is, you will always be on the losing end. Have you experienced this?
What is Emotional Reasoning?
Among psychological circles, emotional reasoning is an actual term.
You see, emotional reasoning is recognized as a cognitive process. A person who uses emotional reasoning would conclude that his/her emotional reaction proves something is true. And no matter the evidences presented, their feelings give them the authority to make conclusions.
No Logic with Emotional Reasoning
People who employ emotional reasoning in arguments do not respect logic. It seems they are unable to because they let their feelings decide.
Take for example being married to a paranoid husband. No matter what the wife says that she is not cheating or flirting with her co-worker, the husband would insist that she is. He is basing his conclusions on his feelings every time his wife goes out the door and goes to work.
It doesn’t matter that his wife is not doing anything to arouse his suspicion–his thoughts are already pegged there because that’s how he feels. And there’s no arguing to that. The wife will never win, despite presenting evidences to the contrary.
Talking it Out
Talking it out with a narcissist doesn’t bring any conclusion to an argument. They will lash out until all their rage has subsided.
I know. Because that happened to me many times with my narcissistic mother. Whatever the issue is, no matter who is listening as an arbiter, nothing can sway her. I would end up angry and frustrated because she doesn’t listen to hear. She is just listening to amplify her feelings. Then she would lash out again and use my words against me.
No Chance of Change
But the sad part is, I have learned that my mother will never change. That’s what my psychiatrist told me. Yes, I already went to see a psychiatrist because I was also an emotional wreck. My emotional roller coaster went on for a year.
Narcissists tend to see the world with a different pair of lenses. They have a warped sense of reality. While they live and operate in this world, they have different mechanics. And you have to abide by that, otherwise, you would be deemed as the villain
They can have friends who can accept them. But many people will turn their backs on them because they cannot understand or stand the treatment. It’s best to stay away.
Living with a Narcissist
Are you living with a narcissist? If you do not know but are suspecting, check for the signs of narcissism in this post.
I do not know your situation– if you can get out or not. But I just want to tell you that their emotional reasoning will just get worse, especially if faced with hard facts.
There are choices for you. You can seek professional help and take medication if you think you already have psychological problems. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and am taking antidepressants to manage it.
Or, you can also leave. If it’s a parent, leave the house. If it’s a spouse, well it’s up to you to decide what to do.
The point here is, protect yourself. And don’t give up on life.
LIVE.
10 COMMENTS
I tend to be more emotional when I argue because I’m an emotional person in general. I definitely know the things I need to work out.
Oh gosh, I wouldn’t have the patience for a narcissist. I’d be out pretty quickly. When I argue with my husband, I do try to talk it out calmly. Raising voices won’t help.
I agree. Raising voices just destroy both parties. And it’s worse if the children are just around the house listening to the fight. 🙁 It’s devastating.
These type of people can be hard to reason with. I think the best solution is to not ague with them. There is just no point in emotional reasoning.
This is such an interesting post! There’s a lot of things that I had no idea about regarding arguments. This is good to know, especially learning about narcissists. I’ll try from now own to be more self conscious about my emotional reasoning.
Candace Hampton
It is never a good idea to stay in a situation that affects you mentally. However, it is so important to seek peace in every encounter rather than stir up anger. I am so glad that you found a solution to your problem to avoid further torment.
I was married to someone who had a personality disorder and also seemed to take everything in with emotional reasoning. There really is no changing that except to state rules beforehand for behavior and action and live up to them to the best of your ability. Aside from that trying to convince them of anything when they are feeling differently is impossible.
People like this can be hard to reason with and understand.. It is best to try not to argue with them. Emotional reasoning beliefs can be dangerous for a panic sufferer, as these thoughts can increase feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension. I am glad that you made it out safely.
I was once in a relationship like this. It’s so full of drama and trust is totally far far away. I wouldn’t want to be in it ever again. Emotional reasoning in an argument is so draining.
We are all narcissists, and the present society makes everything worse. Such a delicate subject, thanks for sharing!