Narcissism 101
Spot The Narcissist at a Christmas Party
It’s the holiday season once again and most of us are going to go through rounds of Christmas parties. The most common would be the Christmas party held for us by the company, a.k.a. the employer. So while we all are busy partying and enjoying ourselves, our narcissist-friend is busy with something else. So, how do we identify the narcissist at a Christmas party?
The Narcissist at a Christmas Party
In order to better identify our friend and be able to explain or excuse their behavior afterwards, we need to look at the three stages of the Christmas party.
Just remember: our narcissist-friend is not there to celebrate. He or she is there to show off.
Pre-Party
When the HR head sends out a memo about the details of the Christmas party, it usually includes the theme as well as the specific attire. For more fun, everyone is encouraged to wear the costumes. Most of the time, the company would award those who come in the nicest costumes. Or they will choose the Best in Costume or the Best Dressed.
There will really be people who will stand out in terms of creativity. Cosplayers at the workplace usually win the grand prize. There are also those who just make the effort because they want the prize money. And there are those who do not care at all. Just one accessory related to the theme and their problem is solved.
However, there is another group. These are the narcissists and they are not there to party.
It is the perfect opportunity for the narcissists to show off. They will go to the extent of paying professionals in order to put together a grand ensemble. Talk about burning a hole on their Amex card.
When the party comes, they will shrug it off and say that it is something that they put-together at the last minute.
- Related: Signs of Narcissism
During the Christmas Party
Remember, this is the narcissist’s opportunity to shine. Their entrance is calculated on what will make the most impact. They can come as the earliest so that they can greet everyone who arrives. Or they can come in late so that all heads will turn for their grand entrance. You decide.
The narcissist will also become very competitive, watching out for the prize like a hawk. In their world, there is only one ratio: 1 winner vs. losers. And they should always come out on top — there should be no contest to that.
For others, it’s a friendly competition. But for narcissists, it’s a do or die moment, like it’s the defining point of their lives…until the next opportunity to show off. And they will not take to losing in a nice way.
After the Party
Bidding farewell and greeting people a “Merry Christmas” on the way out of the event venue doesn’t end it for the narcissist. If they win, they won’t stop talking about it. If they lose, they won’t stop talking about it either. They are sore losers, to say the least, and would often find all kinds of faults against the winner.
- Related: Three Kinds of Narcissists
And with the advent of the internet and social media, rants are made online and even agreed upon by those who have the same mindset.
So if any of your friends or office mates have behaved like these, then you now have an explanation for at least some of them. You just have a narcissist at a Christmas party.
What To Do With a Narcissist Friend?
Basically, nothing. The best thing to do is to avoid them and stay out of their way. There is really no cure for narcissism because it is a personality disorder. Unless the person himself or herself realizes that and seeks professional advice, there is just nothing we can do about them. And they continue to live in our midst.
Just don’t take it too personally or else you will be the one on the losing end. You may forgive them for their aggression, but for them, you deserve it. Your forgiveness is for your peace of mind and not really for reconciliation. You are actually better off without the narcissist in your life.
So the best thing to do is keep your distance and find emotional support. You do not have to go through the emotional abuse alone.
