Mother’s Day is a Bane To Victims of Abuse
Today is Mother’s Day in the Philippines. If you have a Facebook account, you will see that almost all the posts today are about this supposed special day celebrating that special woman in the family–the mom. People post about how great their moms are, including their grandmas, and aunties. They also post about their simple celebrations that are limited because of the Covid-19 lockdown.
Extra Sensitive
However, this day is nothing special for me. I would rather hole up in my bedroom and watch TV all day. If not for my children who are also trying to cheer me today as well as feeling the responsibility to cook something special for the family — how I wish that this day would pass quickly and quietly.
Anyway, since yesterday, I had been extra sensitive. I already started feeling weepy and I blamed it on PMS. Maybe my hormones have gotten crazy and my period will be happening sooner this month? But I checked my period calendar and it’s still more than a week away. So, there’s really no explanation for my sensitivity.
A Friend With a New Book
Last week, a friend announced that she is part of a book project and it is now released. I am happy for her accomplishment but couldn’t even bring myself to check her book. You know why? It’s about a tribute to moms, released just in time for Mother’s Day. And I just cannot.
And now, after a big row with my husband over how the pork for our lunch was not tender enough, I realized that I am still being very extra sensitive. Mother’s Day is still a bane for me. He didn’t greet me and still had a comment about my cooking. That ignited my fuse. I blew my top today, ruining our Mother’s Day lunch as well as the rest of the day.
Why is Mother’s Day Such a Bane?
For victims of emotional abuse by narcissistic mothers, Mother’s Day is just a reminder that we had mothers who lied to us, manipulated us, and controlled our lives. And it is not that simple — it is hard to function when you have lived like a puppet all your life, governed by your mother’s raised eyebrows.
While people can say that at least, my mother provided for us and enabled us to finish schooling, the emotional and psychological scars have affected my mental health for decades. It has affected my relationships, too, because my view of people is pretty distorted.
That is why I am still on medication for depression and still doing therapies that would relax my mind and calm my soul.
- Related: Taking Antidepressants
Dealing with the Hang-Ups
I am still dealing with the emotional hang-ups of my traumatic childhood. Yet, Mother’s Day is a reminder of what kind of mother I have. I did greet her and sent gifts but it was more like routine or just accomplishing a task. It’s no longer heartfelt. After I was done and she accepted it, it’s like being able to finish mopping the floor and cleaning the mop. It’s another task checked.
Well, remembering past Mother’s Days, I realized that my gifts were more out of obligation and fear because I was afraid that she might not like it. And mother was not very polite. She would really return gifts.
So that is the reason why I don’t really like Mother’s Day nor am I excited for it. If not for the people around me, I would want to do nothing at all. And on the same note, if not for my husband, I wouldn’t celebrate Father’s Day either. And here’s why: Father’s Day 2019 for the Empath Father