Mental Health
Leap Year: A Leap of Faith in Stopping Anti-depressants
The Year 2020 is a leap year. On this day, February 29, I checked my pill box and realized that I only have half a pill left. I decided to take a big leap of faith — stopping anti-depressants. Tonight will be my last dose and then I will see how this will work out for me.
Stopping Anti-Depressants and Hoping for the Best
I had been on anti-depressants for 8 months and 20 days now. Initially, my psychiatrist only prescribed me on escitalopram oxalate for six months. She said that if ever I decided to start, I should commit to finish the time she prescribed.
But since my 6th month fell on the first week December, I asked my doctor if I could extend the program. The Christmas season usually gives me bouts of melancholia because I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I didn’t want to go through anxiety attacks, especially that my relationship with my narcissistic mother has not really been resolved yet. And since it’s the holidays, I didn’t want to have a bad mood, especially that I have kids to put up with.
She said it was fine. I could even just reduce the dosage and keep taking it, if it makes me feel better. Many of patients do that. Some even just 1/8 of a tablet, just as long as they are taking something for their brains to work well.
Reducing the Dosage
During my previous visits with my doctor, she has mentioned about reducing the dosage of my medication before completely stopping it.
Since I have been on half a tab for more than a month already, I thought that I was ready to let go.
And my last half-a-tab will be my last dosage tonight. Please wish me well. I really hope that I will not experience discontinuation symptoms. Or if I do, at least, I could handle them well enough.
Throughout the 9 months that I have been taking anti-depressants, I have unintentionally skipped for a total of three times only. There were just times that I forgot to take them. I didn’t feel bad the day afterwards because I would resume taking at the same time the following day.
The only thing I did that was not part of the treatment plan was the occasional drinks. Truth be told, alcohol and medication shouldn’t mix. But there are just times that I can’t help it.
