Living with a narcissist is no easy feat. If you cannot take the emotional or physical abuse anymore, it takes a lot of courage, strength, and resolve to leave. But if you leave because of severed relationship, is there hope of reconciliation with a narcissist?

Is Reconciliation With a Narcissist Possible?

Honestly, I believe it is possible. However, and there is a big however, I believe that genuine change should manifest.

Yes, with hope, I believe that narcissists can change. Okay fine, they may still be narcissists, but with a better understanding of their personality disorder. If they do, they have at least a certain amount of control over their reactions. Plus, you will see that they are trying to change for the better.

If you are suspecting that your partner or family has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, check this post: Signs of Narcissism.

Meanwhile, if you are a daughter with a narcissistic mother, read Spot a Narcissistic Mother.

Why There Needs to be a Change

A narcissists’ actions and reactions may differ, depending the degree of their disorder. It’s just that they do not operate in the way that normal people do. Like in my last post, I said that they see the world with different lenses.

For example, lying. Narcissists are chronic liars.

They twist the truth so that it will serve their own means. For them, however, it does not constitute lying. It’s just the way their perverse mind works — having an alternate reality.

But if you are the victim of emotional or physical abuse from a narcissist, you can develop psychological problems. Or you can get injured.

Acceptance, Remorse, and Change

Apologies are not enough. There should be genuine change and remorse on the part of the narcissist. You will know this if they acknowledge their personality disorder and are willing to seek help for it.

Furthermore, you will see them genuinely remorseful and doing everything they can to change. If not, the reconciliation is useless. The victim will just be subjected to the cycle of abuse all over the again.

Imagine a wife married to a narcissistic husband who abuses her. If you insist on counseling forgiveness and reconciliation without change, she will just get hurt again. Plus, the domestic violence could escalate because she tried to escape the first time. That will be held against her.

The psychiatrist told me that a narcissist may never change. And so, I am just bracing myself for the fact while putting my defenses in place.

Effects of Living with a Narcissist

For more than four decades, I never realized that I have a narcissistic mother. She has manipulated our family all along. I have experienced all sorts of physical pain and psychological torment.

Thankfully, I sought professional help for my mental health. I was better off after seeing the psychiatrist and taking the prescribed medicines. She gave me a diagnosis — Major Depressive Disorder with mild anxiety. I was depressed all along! Taking antidepressants has helped me calm down and handle the tensions in my life.

Her analyses and advice were spot on.

Conclusion

My conclusion to this is that forgiveness for all the hurts is healthy for the victim. Reconciliation with a narcissist may even be possible, as long as there is repentance.

However, if there is no repentance, it is best for the victim to stay away. It doesn’t matter what the relationship is. A narcissist does not respect boundaries. It’s sad how they are wired that way.

And it’s even sadder if you are part of a fellowship of Christians. A Christian narcissist may even be harder to deal with.

For now, let’s just be all strong and train our minds and hearts. It doesn’t mean that we should no longer love. It just means that we protect ourselves and our families from the venom of narcissists.