Major Depressive Disorder symptoms can be observed in many individuals. But they don’t seek treatment, shrugging it off as just part of a normal life cycle. That’s exactly my case until I consulted with a psychiatrist.

Diagnosis: Major Depressive Disorder

When I visited the psychiatrist referred to me by a physician-friend, I relayed my symptoms to her. I also narrated about my experience with my narcissistic mother for more than four decades.

You see, I really thought that our family dynamics are normal. Last year that I discovered the term Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and started reading about it. It was only then I realized that my mother is a textbook case of a malignant narcissist.

As I related my story to the psychiatrist, she answered so many of my questions. She even laid down the facts about my mother and what to expect. The psychiatrist told me that my mother will never change.

And the diagnosis for my case: Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) with mild anxiety.

What is Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)?

MDD is more commonly known as clinical depression. We often hear the term thrown around when people are sad, but clinical depression has a deeper cause.

Depression is a kind of mood disorder. It causes the persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest in everything. The disorder affects how a person feels, thinks, and behaves. This leads to a variety of emotional and physical problems.

At the very least, the patient may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities. The worst is, sometimes the depressed person may feel as if life isn’t worth living. If not treated, depression can lead to taking one’s life.

Major Depressive Disorder Symptoms

Below are some of the most common symptoms of clinical depression.

• Bouts with feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness. Patient is often weepy.
• Angry outbursts or rage, irritability or frustration, even over very little things.
• Loss of interest or enjoyment in most or even all normal activities.
• Irregular sleeping patterns. Situations can include insomnia or sleeping too much
• Tiredness and lack of energy. The patient finds that small tasks take extra effort to complete.
• Appetite problems. Patient may experience reduced appetite and weight loss or intense cravings for food and subsequent weight gain.
• There can be anxiety, agitation, or restlessness.
• Sometimes, the patient is slow to think, speak, or move.
• There’s trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things.
• Patient often feels of worthless, focusing on past failures or self-blame for present circumstances
• There is frequent or recurrent thoughts of death and ending one’s life.
• There are unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches.

My Symptoms

Most of the symptoms mentioned above have manifested in my life. I have had so many headaches and I can no longer count the times I have taken painkillers. The optometrist would say it’s because of my vision. Meanwhile, the allergologist would say it’s because of sinusitis. And finally, my OB-Gyne said it was because of hormones and my inadequacy to handle tension.

I was also very irritable, blowing steam over every little detail that doesn’t go my way. Thinking that I was just a perfectionist or I just don’t have tolerance for stupidity, I just continue. But then everyday, I would shout at the kids and by 9pm, I feel like depositing them somewhere so that I would stop hearing them talk.

Moreover, I have hormonal problems because of my Polycystic Ovarian Disease (PCOS). And now, I am approaching perimenopausal stage. I was a walking time bomb.

Causes of Depression

It is widely believed by experts that there is no singular cause of depression. They are inclined to believe that it’s a combination of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors.

In my case, it’s because my family was founded in a lie, being raised by a narcissistic mother.

Treatment of Depression

Depression may be treated with therapy, professional counseling, and medication. Antidepressants are prescription medicines.

I did so many things in my life to alleviate the miserable feeling that’s eating me up. Renewing of the mind was at the top of my list, along with prayer, and entertaining myself. But nothing worked. I am now taking antidepressants and it has been working well for me. Read: How Antidepressant Pills Are Working for Me

Dangers of Depression

The most obvious danger of depression is of course the desire just end all the misery. I have tried that when I was younger, but I guess I was too chicken to actually do it. But I have entertained the thought so many times already throughout my adult years. It seems that my mind cannot handle so much pressure at one time.

Additionally, the psychiatrist told me that with so much stress, the neurons in the brain can also die. Brain mass may shrink because of this and may lead to other neurological problems.

Wow! I didn’t know that depression can do that. I am thankful that I am diagnosed and am already taking medication. Hopefully, I am on my way to recovery.